Sista 2 Sista

[Music Intro] Welcome to Daa'ring Yarning, a gathering place for sharing stories of strength, culture, and connection from First Nations communities. Here, we will shine a light on ideas and programs that contribute to reducing violence against women and children, and healing practices for all who have been affected by family violence. We will also explore the culture that keeps our mob strong, and what it means to our communities. Hosted by First Nations Advocates against Family Violence CEO, Kerry Staines, Daa'ring Yarning is a safe space for storytelling, learning, healing, and community connection.

KerryWelcome to Daa'ring Yarning. I'd like to respectfully acknowledge the traditional custodians of the Goreng Goreng people where I am on today. I'd like to pay my respects to the elders past and present, for they hold the memories, traditions, the culture, and the hopes for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people. I recognize their continuing connection to our land, water, and community. I would also like to acknowledge all the communities wherever everyone is listening from today, and I hope you enjoy our podcast.

KerrySo today I have joining me, Tosha Sambo, who's the Deputy CEO of Family Violence Legal Services Aboriginal Corporation in South Australia. Welcome, Tosha, to the Daa'ring Yarning podcast.

ToshaThank you, Kerry, and thank you, Daa'ring Yarning, for inviting me to be part of this powerful conversation and podcast.

KerryAh, you're very welcome. We're really excited to hear about one of the programs that you have running down there in South Australia. So we might just get straight into it, if you're happy to, and we'll talk about the Sister to Sister program that's been developed by your service. Can you tell me about the name and then how it's come about?

ToshaSo, Sister to Sister is a program that's really close to our hearts. It was inspired by Sisters Day Out, which is a cultural and wellbeing workshop that was developed by Djirra, one of our sister services in Victoria. We saw the impact of that model and wanted to create something similar that reflected our own communities here in South Australia.

ToshaThe idea first came to life in Port Lincoln back when Family Violence Prevention Legal Service was auspiced by the Port Lincoln Aboriginal Health Service, and before our offices were amalgamated in 2011. A bit of background: Sharon Betts was the coordinator at the time, and together with Amanda Spaulding, who was a junior solicitor, they created the first Sister to Sister. The artwork that is seen on our Sister to Sister t-shirts was designed by Susan Betts, who's an Aboriginal artist in Port Lincoln, and it's become a symbol of the program's spirit and legacy.

ToshaThe program has grown since then; it's grown into one of our signature community events that's held annually across our four locations in Ceduna, Port Lincoln, Whyalla, and Port Augusta. What makes it special is that each event is designed with local input, so we work closely with community to make sure it's a culturally relevant, authentic, and responsive to local needs. It's truly a program that's supported by community for the community.

ToshaWe honor both ways of cultural ways of knowing and doing while also navigating the systems that we work within. So the result is a welcoming, culturally safe, and uplifting space for women and families, and it's a place where people feel seen, heard, and supported. We also make sure that everyone can participate, especially mothers and caregivers, so we also include a dedicated kids' space. So that way, it's not just a women's event; it's a family-friendly experience that brings everyone together.

KerryAnd we know how important it is to make it broader than just a women's event, because a lot of women have children, so is that including something for everyone or grandparents? It's really difficult for people to come along.

ToshaYeah, it's an inclusive environment. You know, our Sister to Sister, it's about connection, it's about healing, it's about empowerment. It's a space where women can share their stories, they can learn, and they build their confidence. And it's also, it's a testament to what happens when our organizations and community collaborate, and it leads the way for Aboriginal women to access information and services.

KerryYeah, and I love that you've taken us through the journey of how it's come about and named important people who've been a part of it, because we know that, you know, in understanding that where we've been, it helps us to understand where we're going. So, appreciate you mentioning all those people.

KerryLet's just walk a little bit into the program. If you can just talk me through how the community receives the program and where the program is more specifically run.

ToshaThe response to Sister to Sister, it's absolutely incredible, Kerry. It's deeply supported by the communities that we work within. We have women that travel from outreach areas like Yalata, Koonibba, even across towns to attend. And to me, that kind of commitment speaks volumes.

ToshaThe feedback that we receive is positive. So women tell us how much they value the space and to be able to connect, to learn, and feel supported. I want to share some of the feedback that we got. One woman said that the staff were helpful, warm, and friendly; it's a good for women to get together and share their stories and learn how to help or get help. Another shared, "I learned things I would not know otherwise." And one of my personal favorites was, "I loved everything—the hairdressers, the speakers, the foot massages, and everything." So it's not just being informative, but it's also uplifting.

ToshaAnd it's a mix of education, healing, and celebration. We also hear from service providers who attend, too, and they're just as enthusiastic about it. One provider from Yadu Health, they described it as positive, welcoming, and an awesome event. Another from the University of Adelaide thanked us for the opportunity to reconnect with women and share important health journeys.

ToshaBeyond the feedback, we also see real impact. So after each event, there's noticeable increases in our service referrals and intakes. So that kind of tells us that women are not only attending; they're engaging, they're reaching out, and they're taking steps towards safety and wellbeing. So it's, you know, building trust and connection in a real, meaningful way.

ToshaAnd I think Sister to Sister, it helps build that trust between the women and the service providers, because it's a sense of safety and belonging. And because it's supported by community and culturally safe, it resonates deeply in our communities. It's not just an event; it continues to grow, and it continues to grow through word of mouth, shared stories, and building those strong relationships.

KerryYeah, well that's fantastic feedback. And I think you've hit on something really important there. It's really hard if somebody's experiencing something to reach out to a service or an organization. It's a bit daunting, and sometimes not really understanding exactly what that organization does. Most people won't go into an organization and say, "Oh, you know, what do you do and how you can help?" So having a program like this really opens up for women to come in and ask questions and specifically understand what's there. So it's a really non-threatening way that you've been able to set this program up, and it invites that conversation. And people reach out, clearly, if the referrals after the day out have an increase.

KerryIf I was to turn up to a Sister to Sister day, walk me through what would a day look like?

ToshaI'd like to say it's simple, but it's powerful. And it's also, you know, about building those connections, sharing the knowledge, growing the confidence amongst the women, and celebration. We begin with introductions to our service and staff. We also do a welcome or acknowledgment to country. It's followed by a theme presentation that's delivered by us, and recently we focused on coercive control.

ToshaWe have guest speakers, and we provide an opportunity for those service providers to share their insights, and the floor is open for community questions and discussion. The most important thing is we celebrate and we value women, mothers, and caregivers, so throughout the day, women enjoy the pampering activities like the massages, the haircuts, and the creative therapy such as drumbeat and art therapy. We also have raffles, we take group photos, and women can connect with others in that safe, supportive space.

ToshaWe also provide the practical legal education through our interactive sessions and our community engagement because wellbeing and knowledge, they go hand in hand. The day wraps up with goody bags, Sister to Sister t-shirts, and we also do our evaluation forms to gather our feedback then. But ultimately, Sister to Sister, it's about women coming together to share the stories, build confidence, and at the end of the day, we want women to leave feeling stronger, supported, and informed so that they can take action in their lives.

KerryI mean, who wouldn't want to be pampered? I think it sounds like there's something for everyone. I was ticking a few things off myself—massage, it sounds great.

KerryAnd I think, you know, the coercive control you mentioned, it's a really new term that's getting used quite a lot, which means different things to different communities and different people. So I think bringing those things and reaching into the community is really important for that education piece, yeah. So how would you—and you've talked a little bit about this before, Tosha—but is there anything you want to add in terms of the success of the program?

ToshaUm, it's honestly one of the most impactful events that we run across our region. It brings women together from all walks of life. We have young women there from 16-year-olds right through to our elders. It's connected to community.

ToshaEach year we theme the event around a topic that matters. So, like I said, this year it was coercive control, and that ties into the upcoming legislation in South Australia that will criminalize coercive control by 2027. So we partnered with the Legal Services Commission to present this at our Port Augusta event, and what came out of that was incredible.

ToshaSo with the assistance of our team in Port Augusta, women from the community designed a resource project, and that includes "See the Signs" t-shirt and a pocket card listing important support services. The artwork on the t-shirt was even created by one of the women who attended, and it features an ochre background for country, a rising purple sun for awareness, and a white line symbolizing peace. And the launch of the coercive control resource project, it will be taking place soon, so stay tuned for that.

ToshaIt's such a powerful example of a community-led project and impact. So I think that's what makes Sister to Sister so successful; it's not just about information, it's about action. Our women leave with the practical tools, you know, like who to call, where to go, how to plan for your safety.

ToshaBut more than that, they leave with real connections. So as I mentioned, we bring those local service providers into the room so that we're not just handing out brochures, but having real conversations in real time, and that builds the trust. And it turns like a cold referral into a warm one.

ToshaLike I mentioned, after each event, we see the increase. Women feel more confident to reach out, and they often engage others to do the same. And word of mouth becomes like the safety net because women trust other women, and that ripple effect is what makes the program sustainable and it's deeply embedded in our communities.

KerryYeah, well that's that's amazing feedback.

KerryAnd, you know, on a serious note, while the program is designed to assist to address gender-based violence in our communities, so how do you see this program really addressing some of those core aspects of our communities that need to feel more safe?

ToshaThat's a really important question, Kerry, and one that we think about a lot. First, it's crucial to acknowledge that violence doesn't discriminate; it affects people across all communities, backgrounds, and age groups. But when we talk about gender-based violence, especially in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities, we have to look at the deeper layers—things like gender inequality, racism, systemic disadvantage, the ongoing impacts of colonization.

ToshaBut I also think it's important to emphasize that violence against Aboriginal women is not part of traditional culture, and prior to colonization, many Aboriginal communities had their own systems of law and cultural practices that upheld respect and protected women. So in our communities, we often see the term "family violence" used because it reflects the broader kinship structures and the cultural context.

ToshaAnd for Aboriginal women, the experience is often more complex, so they're not just dealing with one thing or one matter. They're also facing, you know, intergenerational trauma, cultural disconnection, housing insecurity, forced child removals, over-policing and under-protection where Aboriginal women may be misidentified or ignored when they are seeking help, and one of the greatest ones is like the lack of access to culturally safe services. And all of those factors, that increases vulnerability and reduces access to support.

ToshaSo breaking those cycles of violence and addressing violence against women, it requires a whole of community approach to tackle the root causes, not just the symptoms, and one that has to be centered on the lived experiences and investment in long-term, culturally safe solutions. So I think that's program, that's why programs like Sister to Sister are so vital. It's a supportive place where women can come together, and one of the biggest impacts is that it normalizes help-seeking. So a lot of women feel that asking for help is weakness, but we flip that narrative; we show that reaching out is a sign of strength.

ToshaWe also know that early intervention saves lives, so when women feel supported, they're more likely to seek help, not just for themselves, but for their children and their extended families. And in regional areas, isolation is a huge enabler of violence; our events, that breaks that cycle, you know, so women leave feeling less alone, more informed, and more confident to take steps towards their safety.

ToshaAnd I see that one of the other lasting effects are that many women who attend our events, they become informal ambassadors in their own circles and their own communities. So they share what they've learned, they encourage others to seek help, and that creates the ripple effect of safety and support. And again, we see more referrals, early engagement with services, and stronger trust in the support systems.

ToshaBut we also know that real change requires not just or more than events; we need systemic reform, you know—better training for police, stronger protections for women in the justice system, and culturally responsive services for all women, including those, you know, that are migrants. I could also say that the LGBTQIA+ communities or people living with a disability.

KerryYeah, look, you've mentioned so many so many layers there and, you know, that's the part of what we're trying to do here at Daa'ring Yarning is really start to unpack some of these complexities and really draw the the links with the individuals on the ground, you know. There's nothing like, you know, the Murray or the Koori grapevine to help support each other and spread the word about, as you said, it's not about help-seeking, it's about empowerment. Um, and I think, you know, what you're trying to do there, what we're trying to do through this podcast, and what a number of other Aboriginal community-controlled organizations and individuals or people with lived experience are trying to do is to work together to keep people safe, to raise awareness, and to show that there is avenues that you can, that there is safe support out there for people to reach out. So no, really really value um all of those complexities and hopefully over the next couple of years as we start unpacking all these that we can, you know, bring different listeners through that will actually touch on different aspects for people.

ToshaYeah, and I really like what you said about it, it means investing in our long-term, you know, our community-led solutions, and it means listening to those with lived experience, means supporting healing as well, and building the genuine partnerships with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples and communities, as well as organizations, not just for consulting, but, you know, co-designing and delivering our services together.

KerryYeah, and really showcasing some great programs that are in existence. We hear a lot about what's not happening, but there is also a lot of things that are happening, so part of what we're wanting to do is to shine the light on programs like like Sister to Sister.

KerryI have another question for you around if you have resources. Is there any resources that you would, you're able to share with listeners on the podcast or anything that we can put in the notes uh that we could bring their attention?

ToshaWhile our resources are mostly shared in person at our events, they're a big part of what makes Sister to Sister feel so special. So every woman who attends our events, they receive the goody bag like I said, filled with, you know, items that reflect the spirit of the program. So that's the Sister to Sister t-shirt, we do compact mirrors, keep cups, environmental bags, and it's also filled with brochures with helpful information from us as well as other service providers.

ToshaI would also like to acknowledge that our local businesses, they support our event as well, and they donate products for our raffles, and these are also so very popular with our women. All of the items aren't just practical; they're also symbolic, you know, they represent the connection, the care, and community, and they're a way for the women to take a piece of the event home with them, something that reminds them that they're supported and they're valued.

ToshaBut if you're curious, or if the listeners are curious to see more or want to stay informed on our future events, I'd really encourage listeners to check out our Facebook page. Um, you'll find photos, updates, and stories from past events, and it's a great way to get a feel for the energy and impact of our service. So, um, you just search for Family Violence Legal Service Aboriginal Corporation SA. And it's a great way for people to stay connected.

KerryI know you've just recently run that program. Is that run annually?

ToshaIt's run annually across all of our first four locations, so we've, the one that you're referencing was held in Ceduna recently. Our next one is actually on the 13th of November here in Port Lincoln.

KerrySo I would like to turn now a bit more to you, Tosha, personally, to hear a little bit more about what makes you tick. Can you tell me first of all a little bit more about uh your mob and your country?

ToshaAbsolutely. Um, my cultural roots are something that I carry with, you know, deep pride. On my mum's side, my connections are Gabrun from the Goldfields region in Kalgoorlie in Western Australia, and on my dad's side, my connections are Barngarla from Galinyala Port Lincoln in South Australia. Um, I also have strong connections to the Wirangu mob in Ceduna, South Australia, and I suppose these connections shape who I am and guide me on how I walk through life. They guide my values, my work, and the way I engage with community.

KerryCan I ask you what drew you to the FVPLS sector and maybe some, if there's a if there's a particular moment in time that that you often reflect on as a powerful moment?

ToshaHonestly, it was the heart of the work that drew me in. Um, the Family Violence Prevention Legal Services, they work with some of the most vulnerable people in our communities, women and children um who are affected by family, domestic, and sexual violence, and that kind of work really resonated with me.

ToshaWhen I moved back to South Australia, I actually attended a Sister to Sister event as a community member. I didn't know what to expect, but I, I left feeling incredibly moved and inspired. The space, it was welcoming, it was full of connection, and it made such an impression on me that when I saw a position came up um as a client intake officer role, I applied and I actually got the job. So from there, my journey just kept growing. So I moved from that position into the role of the operations manager, and now I'm proud to be serving as the Deputy CEO. It's, it's been a powerful journey, and it all started with that one event that showed me the impact that this work can have, and such a, you know, like a full circle moment starting as a participant to now actually working in the organization.

KerryYeah, that's a that's a great story, Tosha, particularly to link it back to the Sister to Sister program as being start, that's pretty amazing. And I know that you are very valued by your team.

ToshaFor, for me, it's a reminder of how important the programs are, not just for people who we support, but for those of us who worked in the sector, too.

ToshaAlso, there've been many meaningful moments, but one that really stands out is being a part of the Aboriginal Partnership Committee for the Royal Commission into Domestic, Family, and Sexual Violence in South Australia. For me, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and, and to contribute to something that will directly impact our Aboriginal communities. Um, the committee was the first of its kind, and it was designed to work alongside the Royal Commission to, to ensure that the Aboriginal voices weren't just heard, but were central to shaping the recommendations. And that's huge because we know Aboriginal women and children experience violence at disproportionately high rates, and they're often over-represented in systems that don't always serve them. So being a part of that process, that genuinely listened to lived experience and community wisdom was incredibly powerful. It was deeply personal for me and professional milestone.

ToshaI want to take also a moment to honor the women and children that we've lost to domestic, family, and sexual violence in South Australia because their stories matter. And we also, across our sector, we stand in solidarity with the families and communities that are still grieving.

ToshaThe release of the Royal Commission report, you know, includes 136 recommendations, and the Companion Voices report, it captures the lived experiences of survivors, and that kind of documentation is rare, but it's also vital. The other one was there's also a powerful report by um Dr. Kate Fitz-Gibbon, and it's called "Silence and Inaction." Now this focused on children and young people as victim-survivors in their own right; it's confronting, but it's also essential reading for anyone working in this place.

ToshaI am also incredibly grateful to Family Violence Legal Service for supporting my involvement in that work. Their backing um made it possible for me to contribute. And I also want to acknowledge the Commissioner, Natasha Stott Despoja, um the advisory group, the Aboriginal Partnership Committee members, Scott Wilson and Olive Bennell, and all of the staff who worked tirelessly throughout the inquiry. Um, their dedication and the care that went into every step of the day was evident. And I, I'm proud to have played a part in it, and I look forward to seeing the recommendations lead to safer families and communities across South Australia.

KerryThanks, Tosha. Look, a really powerful message there and a great reminder why we are here doing the work that we're doing and the amount of people that are on this journey with us. Um, but certainly, you know, having the ability uh to influence at that level, I am sure that uh you are very proud and you should be very proud because that's really changing what's happening for our women and our, you know, and our children and our mobs. So thank you.

[Music Outro] To learn more about the Sister to Sister program run by Family Violence Legal Service Aboriginal Corporation in South Australia, check out their Facebook page by searching their organization name. If you or anyone you know is experiencing family violence, call 1800RESPECT for a referral for a service in your area. Thank you for listening to our Daa'ring Yarning podcast. If you've found something valuable in this episode, please follow, rate, and share with a friend or colleague who would enjoy it too. Until next time, take care.